Posts
by n splendorr
August 26, 2019

The Universal Traveler

This is one of my favorite physical objects, and I thought y'all might like to see it. It's called The Universal Traveler, by Don Koberg and Jim Bagnall, and it has a revised publication date of 1974. I don't know when this copy was printed.

I found it in a used bookshop around a decade ago, probably Jackson Street Books in Athens, GA, which is gone now because the owner treated everybody like shit, didn't update his inventory, preferred to sell books online, and after years of open neglect and hostility had the sheer, jagged, cliff-face stones to blame "people not reading anymore" on the store closing. I enjoyed it while it lasted and made a lot of nice discoveries there between 2006 and 2016. Only as I type this do I fully realize the absence in my life without a good old-fashioned used bookshop nearby. Between losing Jackson Street, working in a new-books store for a few years (which was great but also oversaturated me with books and made it a lot harder to be excited about bringing yet another book into my life), the 2016 election (which made it physically uncomfortable for me to sit and just read very much for over a year), and the growing depressive sense that the accumulation of pleasurable knowledge in a collapsing fascist biosphere is a waste of time... the last few years have given me a very different relationship to reading than the one I possessed since I learned to read when I was three.

Despite all this and more, I've been trying to rehabilitate my reading mind. There are other parts of my brain that need help, including my creative capacity and big picture planning. So it is that I revisited my shelves in recent days, reorganized a bit, and rediscovered The Universal Traveler.

When I found this book all those years ago, it shook me like a blue bolt. I thought of myself as a creative person, really inhabited that as an identity more than I do now. Now, "being creative" is just something I do, whether I want to or not, and it feels like an affliction more often than it does something I want to identify with. But when this big, beautiful book slid off of the shelf and into my head, I resonated like a gong. "The Universal Traveler." What a great way to put it! That's something I'd like to be, I thought. I want to travel the universe! "a Soft-Systems guide to: creativity, problem-solving, And the process of reaching goals". Good lord! I'd like a guide to all those things! And just look at it; it had traveled decades to eventually meet me, from the fabled creative paradise of California, the place I was born, and the sand-gathered throne from which I was deposed.

It feels even rarer now than it did then to come across a book I've just never heard of, let alone one that I want to read immediately.

"DESIGN IS a process of MAKING DREAMS come TRUE", said the back of the book. Hot damn, 22-year-old me thought. I love dreams! I want to make them come true! I guess... whatever they mean by "DESIGN" might be a key ingredient in that Process. This was in like 2009, before the obnoxious tyranny of design as a daily talking point for everyone from software chumps to man-child billionaires had fully swept our burgeoning dark age. I was 22 god dang years old. I had slept with one person a few times, I was still years away from smoking or drinking any drugs, and I was depressed as hell but had yet to give up completely on the promise that what I made might save me from misery. Art felt possible. Design could still feel exciting. A book from the 70s could promise a kind of lost-art sensation from a bygone era of dream-design. The back cover said it was from "One First Street, Los Altos" for crying out loud. One First Street! If there was ever a mystical secret originary street hidden somewhere in this cursed and scoured land, there it was!

There's much more to say about this, but that's all I have time for right now. One last thing I want to share about right now is that, in addition to the ancient text of book itself, there are a couple of ancient papers inside, too. And one thing that made it feel even more like the book was, itself, a Traveler is this old Delta boarding pass I found tucked partway inside:

Look at this thing! Printed, probably screen-printed en masse? Probably from the 80s, based on a couple of other clues in the book itself. Smoking section printed, but not marked. Does that mean it was after smoking sections had been eliminated, or that this flight didn't have those sections? A sticker for the seat number!

And on the back, all these lovely little brand logos, and an alcoholic drink list "AVAILABLE AT A NOMINAL CHARGE". I love it!

Between this printed boarding pass and the hand-assembled nature of the book itself (which gets more apparent in the next few pages, that this book made by designers to teach designers has a fabulously-handmade quality of now-neglected printing methods), you can really get the feeling that our clean and tidy digital world — for whatever benefits it may be alleged to have brought us — sure is a lot less fun to interact with. Intangibility grants ubiquity, but for some combination of reasons capitalist and corporate, the things that reach billions of hands are so often devoid of the sense that any human's hand was involved in getting it to us. Though I'm sure there are people who actually flew on a plane in the 1980s who would say these printed cards felt impersonal and disposable at the time, too. Would you?

As we can see from the introduction, these people were already enmeshed in this digital-physical tension.

This is one a small handful of books that I treasure as sacred objects. It made a big impression on me 10 years ago; I wonder now if it can be helpful, if I can re-learn its lessons, or take something new into the scorched fields of my imagination. It looks like it's been reprinted a few times (with an eventually-worse cover, of course), if you want to read it yourself. And if you know anything else about this book, its authors, or the boarding pass, email me! I'll try to share more bits as I read it in the coming weeks. Okay, thanks for reading about what I'm reading!

August 23, 2019

"Because they just know."

Megan Greenwell on Deadspin:

This man is not the adult in the room at the former Gawker Media, just as Kendall Roy was not the adult in the room at Vaulter and Alden Global Capital executives are not the adult in the room at any of the 100 newspapers they are destroying. Sending a copied-and-pasted company handbook, issuing vague edicts about becoming sites for “enthusiasts,” and making inexplicable changes for the sake of making changes are the professional equivalent of a small boy dressing up in his father’s suit: He is role-playing, deluding himself but no one else.

But the adults in the room know that we’re wrong, despite all evidence, because they just know.

As frustrating as it is to read about yet another business mismanaged by ignorant aristocrats, I take tremendous pleasure in this calm, clear, and devastating account being posted to the site it describes as its author heads out the door. There are so many businesses run by people who won't even ask their workers what the business needs, let alone listen when they are told anyway. But the people who actually do the work in a company always know better than the owners. Purchasing a media publication just to have an account of your stupendous failings published by that same company is... [emoji of Goku devouring an entire table of food and then sitting back with a sleepy, satisfied smile]

August 23, 2019

"Allies in the Sun"

This is an album that I love singing along with, even though I have never fully-parsed most of the lyrics for meaning. It starts out in a striking and unusual way, with dozens of voices harmonizing in a Beach Boys Go To Church vein, but by the middle of the album hits a stride of rock theatricality without sacrificing momentum that I can't get enough of.

August 23, 2019

Jo Bappli Cations

I just sent an email to someone about a possible job, and you know what? I feel bad about my a lot of the time, but describing myself to a potential employer in the realms of programming, web, and general multimedia computer work is actually great. My resumé is ridiculous. The variety of things I've done — mostly pretty well — over the last decade is ABSURD. Sometimes I feel bad because it's hard to narrow down the field to what's relevant while also giving a sense of the breadth of my experience.

Did you know I managed apartments for 3 years, and increased revenue 30% YOY each year by focusing on resident experience, improving work orders, renovating old units, and overall just treating people right? Did you know I was hired as a designer at a silkscreen, trophy, and engraving shop, and then was the de facto manager for six months while the owners dealt with health issues but still screamed at me every time they came into the shop? Did you know I've done UI and UX work for a very cool, unannounced game project? Did you know I've done research and design work for world-famous authors Mark Z. Danielewksi and Coleman Barks? Did you even know that I once re-cut and did major audio cleanup on a documentary? Do you know that I managed a small university's student Mac lab? Do you know I've designed, laid out, proofread, and helped plot out other people's books? Do you know that I sang on a song that was featured in episode 100 of Welcome to Night Vale? Do you know how many fucking projects in every available medium I've had a hand in???

This is just a fraction of the things I can list that might sound impressive to somebody.

And this is one reason I can get so down on myself; despite doing so many things, and despite becoming invaluable any place I've ever worked, it's just... never enough. I've never been comfortable. I've mostly lived at or around the poverty line my whole adult life. When I've made more hourly money in recent years, I thought I could spend more time on those other sundry projects, but it's turned out that I still couldn't get enough work in a year to make enough money to break even. It's been really easy in recent months to turn all of these accomplishments against myself negatively; I've asked myself repeatedly what any of it is worth if I can still reach a point where I can't pay my bills. What good is it to be extremely useful to literally any creative venture or business I've ever worked with, if I can never feel secure? And I accept plenty of responsibility for prioritizing doing interesting things over taking secure work at a few different points. But... man, I'm so tired.

But it was nice to send a stranger an email and basically be like, "Hey! I can do all this stuff! I'm just ridiculously useful." Especially when I have been struggling to reach usefulness lately. I can do it. I've done so many things, and I'll do a thousand more things before I let our vampiric capitalist hellscape convince me I'm not worth keeping around.

August 23, 2019

I’ve made books

I’ve made so many kinds of things! I just found these two copies of books I designed and laid out in their entirety, from almost ten years ago now. Both tasks I just stumbled into, did to the best of my ability, and then never found another book job again.

I’ve been reflecting on how many people I’ve helped make their thing, or helped counsel so that they made decisions that wound up being really good for them, and how often I’ve felt left behind or like people go on to bigger things and I’m left holding some trinket or memory. It’s a negative framing, and one I want to set aside.

I think I have been a truly great facilitator of other people’s work, and I’m glad to be able to do that. I’m grateful when people trust me to help them. The only thing better than knowing someone you admire trusts your perspective is having that but also being able to pay your bills! A rare confluence.

August 23, 2019

window buddy

August 23, 2019

“how they feel”

August 21, 2019

LiveJournal Trash

Y'all I just wanna say that, I know I'm livejournal trash from way back, and I want to thank you for sticking with me here if you've read this site. I've really needed some place to just write longer-form things, and some of it has been from the depths of my depression. I've been seeing a new counselor, doing more good-health things that help, and am seeing a psychiatrist for the first time in a couple weeks about maybe trying medicine since I've just been unable to escape some of my recent mental troughs. I've been unable to work without descending into immediate anxiety and distress for a lot of the last couple of months, which sure hasn't helped! But I'm doing everything I can, with help from good friends, to navigate my way to longer-term improved mental health.

This is still gonna be a place where I post whatever I feel like, because it helps me to have a place to write without judgment, and the hope that it might help SOMEBODY to see it, even if that's just me. I'm also gonna try to not be in the place where I want to write from my depths as much. I have a couple of new short fiction things that I'm almost ready to share, and hope to talk more about the other creative work I've been doing but haven't shared much.

So. Thanks for hanging with me. Talk if you need to talk. Let people know if you need help. We're in this thing, but luckily we're in here together.

August 21, 2019

longest hair

Bout to get this cleaned up. I think it’s the longest my hair’s ever gotten! It tends to look better if it’s several inches shorter, so the ends can curl up and there’s not as much weight pulling down on the top.

Somebody asked me this week if I thought I would get a short haircut again, and the answer is not anytime soon! I hated the way my hair looked with almost every short haircut I had from my teens to my late 20s. Some of them were fine, I guess. But as messy as long hair can get sometimes, I’ve felt more natural and at-ease with at least that part of myself since I grew it out a few years ago.

There are some people who only know me with long hair. That’s weird to think about!

August 21, 2019

"in the heat of the summer"

warning for extremely hot pop music

i haven't been able to have a lot of strong feelings lately, but this music makes me want to want