I’ve made so many kinds of things! I just found these two copies of books I designed and laid out in their entirety, from almost ten years ago now. Both tasks I just stumbled into, did to the best of my ability, and then never found another book job again.

I’ve been reflecting on how many people I’ve helped make their thing, or helped counsel so that they made decisions that wound up being really good for them, and how often I’ve felt left behind or like people go on to bigger things and I’m left holding some trinket or memory. It’s a negative framing, and one I want to set aside.

I think I have been a truly great facilitator of other people’s work, and I’m glad to be able to do that. I’m grateful when people trust me to help them. The only thing better than knowing someone you admire trusts your perspective is having that but also being able to pay your bills! A rare confluence.

Y'all I just wanna say that, I know I'm livejournal trash from way back, and I want to thank you for sticking with me here if you've read this site. I've really needed some place to just write longer-form things, and some of it has been from the depths of my depression. I've been seeing a new counselor, doing more good-health things that help, and am seeing a psychiatrist for the first time in a couple weeks about maybe trying medicine since I've just been unable to escape some of my recent mental troughs. I've been unable to work without descending into immediate anxiety and distress for a lot of the last couple of months, which sure hasn't helped! But I'm doing everything I can, with help from good friends, to navigate my way to longer-term improved mental health.

This is still gonna be a place where I post whatever I feel like, because it helps me to have a place to write without judgment, and the hope that it might help SOMEBODY to see it, even if that's just me. I'm also gonna try to not be in the place where I want to write from my depths as much. I have a couple of new short fiction things that I'm almost ready to share, and hope to talk more about the other creative work I've been doing but haven't shared much.

So. Thanks for hanging with me. Talk if you need to talk. Let people know if you need help. We're in this thing, but luckily we're in here together.

Bout to get this cleaned up. I think it’s the longest my hair’s ever gotten! It tends to look better if it’s several inches shorter, so the ends can curl up and there’s not as much weight pulling down on the top.

Somebody asked me this week if I thought I would get a short haircut again, and the answer is not anytime soon! I hated the way my hair looked with almost every short haircut I had from my teens to my late 20s. Some of them were fine, I guess. But as messy as long hair can get sometimes, I’ve felt more natural and at-ease with at least that part of myself since I grew it out a few years ago.

There are some people who only know me with long hair. That’s weird to think about!

warning for extremely hot pop music

i haven't been able to have a lot of strong feelings lately, but this music makes me want to want

welcome to my now, now fan site

buy this album please

I've listened to this album hundreds of times this year. I can't get enough of this vibe. The bass-heavy insistence is perfect. I want to make a song that feels like this.

Periodically I make collage cards, after my dear friend Noam Assayag. Here's one I did today when I couldn't concentrate on anything else.

A lot of which I still can't share because the project isn't out yet, or it died, or there's no context for it, or I fucked up, or I've lost the images. Not all of it is good. But jesus fuck I've made so many different kinds of things. For some reason everything is sorting strangely in my screenshots folder, so I'm seeing things from over the last 6 or 7 years all jumbled together. WELL HERE'S SOME OF THOSE SCREENSHOTS

just a bunch of scraps, not the best stuff because the best stuff still might theoretically come to pass some day