Posts
by n splendorr
August 08, 2019

"such a surprise"

David Berman died. We don't need every single person to comment publicly on the death of every single semi-public figure, but I have something small to say about Berman that I'm not even going to finish saying right now. I was just re-reading his book "Actual Air" this week; little poems I like quite a bit. A book I picked up a decade ago based on its title in the old Borders bookstore where I made so many of my burgeoning adulthood's happy accidents, whose spine still glimmers in the edge of my eye. Twenty years older than me. I didn't know that much about him, but his poems were a private pleasure. I had been thinking, "Thank you, David," after reading his poems. I know he didn't hear me, and it seems like it wouldn't have been enough if he had. Still, it's nice to say thank you, out loud if you can, but a little mind-whispered gratitude never hurts.

I have a couple of interviews lined up to read, but a friend highlighted the end of this one, pictured above.

August 08, 2019

Good music video, shot in my neighborhood!

I like this silly music video

August 08, 2019

Darkbeast Lol

Accurate

August 05, 2019

"How do we perceive?"

This whole album rules, great singalong.

August 05, 2019

“hungry for the longest time”

August 05, 2019

“out of the safe”

Not an accurate summation of the causes of mental illness, of course, but certainly the way it can feel.

August 05, 2019

“the perilous material situation”

August 05, 2019

It’s different every time

August 05, 2019

Goals

I wish I could identify with this. I miss believing in myself. What’s the character of me that I can enjoy inhabiting?

August 04, 2019

promethean sync

Another Promethea slides into frame. From over a decade ago. Album comes to mind while reading Promethea, seems like a good idea. This song kicks in and I'm transported back across time's many chemical collapses. I check the title. Oh. There it is.

Come on mood shift, shift back to good again.

Though I picked the thorny path myself, I'm afraid — afraid of where it leads.

Really hope she gets me straight, cause my own inner cosmology has become too dense to navigate.

Give me fire. Give me art. Release me from the rocks and crows. Promethean symbolism necessitates this oscillation; you bring something bright into the world, and then apparently you have to suffer a while. I'm looking into ways to reduce the suffering. Tomorrow morning I'll see a new counselor. I'll be as honest and clear as I can: I don't want her to like me. I want her to help me.