dreamt I was asked to fill in for a well-known rocker whose voice was gone. I agreed, without realizing it was going to be a deep-cuts show, and only knew the lyrics to the first two songs. I lived through this performance in great detail, relishing hitting the notes, interacting with people in the crowd, and slowly panicking as I realized I was about to look like a massive idiot for not knowing the rest of the songs.
had another dream last week about playing to a big crowd, filling in as vocalist for a band I liked. the concert hall was on the 70th floor of a skyscraper, several stories high, with plate glass all around; a huge stage surrounded by japanese sky.
I keep having the thought: I wished I'd done more X when it was still possible to go out thoughtlessly. dancing, karaoke , fucking, performing. I try to reshape it, and say, I'm glad I did X while it was still possible. but I do tell you what: if I could tell my 20-year-old self anything, I'd tell him to stop giving a fuck about the rules, go nuts and do what he really wanted, because that might have been the last decade it would be possible to live anything approaching happily in this cursed nation!!!
oh well! here's another song from the early 2000s since I'm on a nostalgic kick, thinking things were better when they really weren't, not for me, not for most people, oh well