why is remembering so common and so painful?
it’s impossible to summarize how difficult the last few years have been, and how much my mind traces unbidden my losses and failures, especially the people I’ve hurt by just not being enough of a person myself.
I’m here, and I’m somebody, but I’m not who anybody thought I was or wanted.
Not for lack of care!
and in my dreams I still have to be myself, and let down a parade of fabricated people night after night, and remember their faces alongside the real ones I’ve disappointed. It’s the worst!!!